I want to find the "old me" or maybe not

'me' , 'old me' and 'new me' are sitting around the table of events and each event is broken in many pieces, looks like a puzzle , just impossible to solve
"who did this mess? " -asked 'old me'
"not me "- said 'me'
'yes, yes I did it and I am very sorry and I want you to help me to put all events back in place , I want them like they were before " - 'new me' confessed
"well, first of all you are a f.. lucky fellow and that's because you still remember me, but just tell me what a hell is the difference between you 'new me' and the so called 'me' ? aren't you supposed to be the same entity?" -'old me' asked
"no , no , no I totally refuse to accept this 'new me ' she got totally out of logic and control , confused and she messed up both of us she thought she rules the world " -'me' replied sarcastically
"ok , let me explain myself" -'new me' started,” first I don't know why are you so surprised? the mess I did ? it is my way to leave and I learned it from both of you , and you 'me' at one point in time were in my place , weren't you ? , and I want you to help me to understand myself , I want to be the 'old me', or maybe not ...I don't know , just help me ".
None of them said anything for a while , 'old me' started crying , 'me' turned on her iPod listening something deep :))) I hope , and in the meanwhile 'new me' was sipping from her coffee waiting for some miracle to happen and it happened , 'old me' took 'me's and 'new me's hands and 'me ' reached for 'new me's hand and in the next second every event failed in place and they started to make sense again, and suddenly wasn't any 'old me', 'me' or 'new me' they just merge in what I would call 'myself'. :)))


"Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse"
Coldplay - Lost

Frank Zappa - Prackard Goose

"Hi! It's me... the girl from the bus...
Remember? The last tour? Well...
Information is not knowledge
Knowledge is not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is THE BEST...
Wisdom is the domain of the Wis.
Beauty is a French phonetic corruption
Of a short cloth neck ornament
Currently in resurgence... "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovLuFF58Mzc

Soft Things

In the software business mainly the concept is: you have a software running, made out :)) (interesting term though) of many files, and if it runs without any problems or with smart workarounds, without crashing, makes everybody happy, but when the software crashes that means it’s a 'bug' in one of those files and we usually "check out” that file, fix the bug and "check in" the fixed file into the software.

Why this entire intro? Because somehow I can see a light connection between software and our soul. Our soul is a very soft thing, and "runs" us and our life and we do everything possible to not crash this soft-thing, sometimes when we have problems one of our "soul file's" have a bug and we "check out " that file and try to fix it, and that's the moment when we try to comprehend the problem (what bothers us, what makes us sad or worried). A healthy mind will try to figure out "why?" all this happens and will try to figure out a way to fix it. Sometimes you can't fix it by yourself, you need somebody’s help, a friend or a specialist or just time, but the happiest moment is when you fixed the problem and "checked in" the "healthy" file into your soul and feel yourself up and running again.

"check out " and then "check in " as fast as possible :)
"let in be " and if it hurts just "let it go" :)

Moments

A news paper add , caught my eyes :
“ Moment in a bottle
We can bottle all kinds of moments for you - sorrow full;
sad; silly; marvelous; splendid; capital; exceptional;
exquisite; charming; delightful; gorgeous; beautiful; ordinary; trivial
Don't call us you can find us at 676 Somewhere street (keep north on Reality street ,
take right on Dream street then left on Somewhere street)
Don't forget to bring your moment with you.”

I have a moment I would love to bottle ,I thought let me find this place and see what exactly these crazy people do.
I got there, I found the store, I got in and the lady, without looking at me said:
- "Ah, good day, you came with a beautiful moment, didn't you? "
- "Hi, you are right, how do you know that? ", I asked confused
- "Oh dear, I can feel it, just feel it", she said turning around, with a big smile on her face .
I was embarrassed and she knew that very well, so she asked me
-" What exactly do you want to do with that moment, dear? Put it in a bottle, on your shelf and once in a while put a tea spoon of it into you morning coffee? "
-" This is what you do? Take the moment, make it into a drink? Then people take a sip each time they want to live the moment again?" I questioned.
- "Not exactly dear", she gave me a strange look and told me something I didn't expect
- "People want to forget some moments, they want to avoid feeling the pain of happiness or sadness, this is how most people are, they come to me and put all theire feelings into a jar, I mix them and create a drink, bottle it, and voila, they won't feel anything anymore even though they will recall that moment but with no feelings. Then tell me dear, do you want that? "
-" No, not that, I would like to keep it alive, can you do that? "
-" No dear , I can't, but I have an advice for you , just let it be , let that moment make you smile , make you cry, make you feel the pain and the beauty of it and that's the only way you will keep it close to you as long as you want ."
- "Thanks a lot; I will keep that in mind."
- "Take care dear", she said turning away.

I left the store listening to Pink Floyd, happy to feel everything.

Piticii de pe creier :)

Uitasem de asta , de vorba asta romaneasca "piticii de pe creier " :)), la prima strigare imi aduce aminte de Alba ca Zapada si cei sapte pitici , na dar nu e vorba despre asta cand cineva vorbeste de "piticii de pe creierul tau ".
Incerc sa-i vizualizez , imi imaginez piticii mici a lui Alba ca zapada ( Alba asta e tot in mintea mea :) ) umbland liber pe creierasul meu , tot nu am ajuns nicaieri cu asta , sunt inca departe de "totala" intelegere a acestei vorbe.
Incerc sa-mi adun piticii , incep sa strig "piticii de pe creierul meu adunarea!!!", tot nimic , ma incolteste disperarea pentru o secunda si un gand naspa imi trece prin minte "poate ca nici macar nu stiu de ei , si de aceea nu pot sa-i adun si sa-i numar '', dar de ce vreau sa-i adun ? ah , ca sa le pun cate un nume , sa-i impart in echipe de genul "reallitate" si "vis" , apoi in fiecare echipa sa creez mici detasamente :)) de genul "frigul iernii' care va fi detasament din echipa realitate , sau "vreau imposibilul" detasament din echipa vis :)), mi-as imbraca piticii in tot felul de costume si culori vii :)), deci ce vreau sa fac cu ei mi-e clar :), dar unde sunt ei ??? ascunsi ???

Dupa cateva zile de profunda analiza :) am ajuns la concluzia ca piticii mei sunt defapt parerile mele si pentru ca ele deja au un nume si au o culoare nu mai trebuie sa-mi bat capul cu "organizarea si alinierea" lor.

"piticii de pe creier" sunt framantari tinere care inca nu si-au gasit linistea si se plimba liber pe creierul nostru , iar "piticii" mei au obosit de atat plimbat si au intrat in creierul meu si stau acolo pe post de pareri :)).

Urari de La Multi Ani

Acu cateva zile a fost ziua de nastere a unui prieten si pentru ca mi-am adus aminte ;) i-am trimis urarile mele de La Multi Ani , printre ele este una care imi e draga si care suna asa "iti doresc ca toate dorintele si visele sa ti se implineasca" , am trimis mesajul si dupa cateva ore am realizat ca uitasem ceva , am vrut sa mai trimit un mesaj de genul "hold on a second , aici e continuarea " dar ar fi fost aiurea de tot .

Dorintele noastre pe langa ca sunt foarte diferite sunt in cele mai multe cazuri tangibile , cu mai mult sau mai putin efort le putem implinii , dar visele ? astea sunt ca niste "bile de foc" ascunse in sufletul nostru si despre care nu vorbim , la care ne gandim in momentele de bucurie sau disperare, ne sunt atat de sfinte si scumpe incat fara ele nu am putea supravietui, traim ca si cum incercam sa ni le implinim cu orice pret, oare vrem cu adevarat sa ni le implinim? oare suntem gata sa acceptam implinirea viselor noastre? si daca da, la ce vom visa ? ne vom creea noi vise si vom porni din nou pe drumul implinirii lor ? , interesant cum implinirea unui vis drag poate sa-ti rastoarne echilibrul , poate sa-ti aduca neliniste si framantari , si , deci , urarea trebuia si trebuie facuta asa "iti doresc ca toate visele si dorintele sa ti se implineasca si implinirea lor sa-ti aduca multa fericire si liniste"

Iar vorba romanului "sanatate inainte de toate"

Who's afraid of Wirginia Woolf? Edward Albee's play

What makes that couple , George and Martha, going ?, the cruel games they are playing to each other ?, the fantasy they are living in , and how they are bringing it in the real life ?, is it love somewhere behind all hurtful things they are throwing at each other ?, sure it is love , what else could it be?
It made me laugh and made me ask myself if I could live in a relationship like that? maybe , maybe not , I have no idea .

"And of course, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf means who's afraid of the big bad wolf . . . who's afraid of living life without false illusions" - Edward Allbee

read it , if you want to be a little intrigued and intelectualy chalenged .