About blogging and other dummy stuff - part 2

Maybe you are asking yourself what else I can say about this subject ( just a reminder here – the subject is blogging and reincarnation – no relation between them though , none , if you can see one is something wrong with you ). One more thing I have to say or maybe more, you know I was mentioning that time when I was going through that face and I spending time thinking about people I know and tried to find a “position” for them in my previous lives :), like:

-         Are people who love you forever or just for a while, but the point is that at one moment they did love you, no? this is what it counts in the end . Now they can be divided in many sub-categories but I am won’t spend my time going through that, you know what love is , right? and all the flavors and colors of it ? ( if no , just send me an email  ). In my reincarnation “schema” all these people were loving me before , I mean in my previuous lives , and if they got out of leaving me is just that I did something wrong then and now ( here I am absolutely positive ).

-         people you work with and they can not stand you – we were enemies in some past battles

-         people you are hanging out with , friends , but they torturing you once in a while – they were your executioners

-         people you respect a lot because they taught you or they were just very nice with you when you least expected – they were your teachers in your previous lives and they love you kindly forever .

and so one ..

this is how I messed up my brain for a while thinking about all that and at one moment I found out that reincarnation doesn’t work like “ this life I am a women , with black hair and next life I will be a beautiful blonde  ” nonono , technically doesn’t work like that , you can be a “bug” in your next life , you know? My first reaction was “nono , I want to be a butterfly “ , but this is not working either , you cannot choose what you want to be and at that moment I just gave up on it . The truth is I read a lot about this subject since then , I know more about it now and still I can’t believe something like that is possible , even though it would be nice to see you guys again 

Why did I write about it then ? because a few days ago I meat an old colleague of mine and when I asked him “how are you” he said “ I want to be reincarnated in a stone at the bottom of the ocean” , I started laughing and I told him “nonono , technically this is not possible , doesn’t work like that” , and then he started bs-ing about it and I just remembered the time when I was “all about reincarnation” .  And it is one more reason why I wrote all these , because one of my friend complained that I did not post something on my blog for a long long time and this friend is the only one reading all the dummy things I write here, and see ? I got to the blogging subject  - but about that next time

About blogging and other dummy stuff

1- do I believe in reincarnation ?
I really don't and that's because I am Christian and based on that you can not believe in something like that, is just dummy even to mention it or to try to talk with an other Christian about it, all my discution with them ended with the same question “do you believe in God?” and in my mind I was screaming “ what this has to do with it ?” , but anyway I am not talking about it anymore .
A year an a half ago I was reading what I consider a dummy book , some doctor was treating depression and anxiety attacks by hypnosis and some time regression techniques, and based on that story reincarnation was real.
I took all that as a fiction, but you know that “stroller syndrome” no? – When you have a baby in a stroller you just realize how many other people are pushing a stroller :), till then you just didn’t see them - the same happened to me, all I heard, read or people talked to me was about reincarnation. I have a crazy friend, I mean his all into yoga, meditation … all kind of strange stuff for a Christian :), and he told me that in all my past and coming lifes, I will meat the same people over and over again just in different situation, for example - my actual mother can be my sister in my next life... Now that scared the hell out of me, wow I thought, I don’t really like that, but you know how crazy ideas are getting stuck in your brain and they are hunting you till you accept them or at least you take the time to think at them ? don’t you? (I can’t be the only crazy person on the planet :)), I did not accept that but I was thinking about it, I looked around, I spend time thinking about all the people I know or knew and how did I meat them and what impact they had in my life – believe me it was big shit going on in my brain :). Then in the same time I went in a businesses trip and meat 2 new people, I never saw them before and unexpectedly I liked them a lot and I felt like I know them for a long long time - I know what you think now but you can be wrong , you know. :). I don’t know what to write anymore , I ran out of steam , but I will continue this fiction soon :)

I didn't say anything about blogging ? :) oh, right , maybe next time

Suddenly I See

Are moments when we cannot see, and we are convinced that whatever we see is the truth and is not that we have a vision problem is just that we have a mental problem, and always is somebody who would love to teach you how you should see things, but seeing, understanding and accepting facts is just a very personal shit, each of us has their own way of dealing with it wishing to get it at one point. 

Confusion is normal for a while, it is a nasty state of mind and like everything in this world good or bad has its own benefits, but it is always wonderful when you get out of it and you get back the power to be, the power to give and the power to see.

:)

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

A few months ago when one of my friends recommended this book to me saying, "you should read it, it's good" I didn't want to, I didn't like the title and I did not like the cover (I know this is totally lame but I couldn't help it). Then another friend told me "you have to read it " and I got over my prejudices and read it. 

Like on all "New York Time best sellers' books a short description can be found, " A women's search for everything, across Italy, India and Indonesia”. Now I don't know about "everything", but she made this journey to find God in order to find her inner peace; from a book like this (honestly the first impression is that it is a chick flick) this is a very ambitious theme and totally got my interest. 

This girl has a broken heart and when your heart is broken everything around you is broken to.

Italy - the place where her appetite comes back. She actually became alive, enjoying life again.

India - the place where through meditation, praying, she ‘understands’, I wouldn't say that she understood everything, she just understood herself, letting the pain go

Indonesia - the place where she finds love

"

The Yoga sages say that all the pain of a human life is caused by words, as is all the joy. We create words to define our experience and those words bring attendant emotions that jerk us around like dogs on a leash. We get seduced by our own mantras (I’m a failure ... I'm lonely. I'm a failure... I'm lonely) and we become monuments to them. To stop talking for a while, then, is to attempt to strip away the power of words, to stop chocking ourselves with words, to liberate ourselves from our suffocating mantras

"

I want to find the "old me" or maybe not

'me' , 'old me' and 'new me' are sitting around the table of events and each event is broken in many pieces, looks like a puzzle , just impossible to solve
"who did this mess? " -asked 'old me'
"not me "- said 'me'
'yes, yes I did it and I am very sorry and I want you to help me to put all events back in place , I want them like they were before " - 'new me' confessed
"well, first of all you are a f.. lucky fellow and that's because you still remember me, but just tell me what a hell is the difference between you 'new me' and the so called 'me' ? aren't you supposed to be the same entity?" -'old me' asked
"no , no , no I totally refuse to accept this 'new me ' she got totally out of logic and control , confused and she messed up both of us she thought she rules the world " -'me' replied sarcastically
"ok , let me explain myself" -'new me' started,” first I don't know why are you so surprised? the mess I did ? it is my way to leave and I learned it from both of you , and you 'me' at one point in time were in my place , weren't you ? , and I want you to help me to understand myself , I want to be the 'old me', or maybe not ...I don't know , just help me ".
None of them said anything for a while , 'old me' started crying , 'me' turned on her iPod listening something deep :))) I hope , and in the meanwhile 'new me' was sipping from her coffee waiting for some miracle to happen and it happened , 'old me' took 'me's and 'new me's hands and 'me ' reached for 'new me's hand and in the next second every event failed in place and they started to make sense again, and suddenly wasn't any 'old me', 'me' or 'new me' they just merge in what I would call 'myself'. :)))


"Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse"
Coldplay - Lost

Frank Zappa - Prackard Goose

"Hi! It's me... the girl from the bus...
Remember? The last tour? Well...
Information is not knowledge
Knowledge is not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is THE BEST...
Wisdom is the domain of the Wis.
Beauty is a French phonetic corruption
Of a short cloth neck ornament
Currently in resurgence... "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovLuFF58Mzc

Soft Things

In the software business mainly the concept is: you have a software running, made out :)) (interesting term though) of many files, and if it runs without any problems or with smart workarounds, without crashing, makes everybody happy, but when the software crashes that means it’s a 'bug' in one of those files and we usually "check out” that file, fix the bug and "check in" the fixed file into the software.

Why this entire intro? Because somehow I can see a light connection between software and our soul. Our soul is a very soft thing, and "runs" us and our life and we do everything possible to not crash this soft-thing, sometimes when we have problems one of our "soul file's" have a bug and we "check out " that file and try to fix it, and that's the moment when we try to comprehend the problem (what bothers us, what makes us sad or worried). A healthy mind will try to figure out "why?" all this happens and will try to figure out a way to fix it. Sometimes you can't fix it by yourself, you need somebody’s help, a friend or a specialist or just time, but the happiest moment is when you fixed the problem and "checked in" the "healthy" file into your soul and feel yourself up and running again.

"check out " and then "check in " as fast as possible :)
"let in be " and if it hurts just "let it go" :)

Moments

A news paper add , caught my eyes :
“ Moment in a bottle
We can bottle all kinds of moments for you - sorrow full;
sad; silly; marvelous; splendid; capital; exceptional;
exquisite; charming; delightful; gorgeous; beautiful; ordinary; trivial
Don't call us you can find us at 676 Somewhere street (keep north on Reality street ,
take right on Dream street then left on Somewhere street)
Don't forget to bring your moment with you.”

I have a moment I would love to bottle ,I thought let me find this place and see what exactly these crazy people do.
I got there, I found the store, I got in and the lady, without looking at me said:
- "Ah, good day, you came with a beautiful moment, didn't you? "
- "Hi, you are right, how do you know that? ", I asked confused
- "Oh dear, I can feel it, just feel it", she said turning around, with a big smile on her face .
I was embarrassed and she knew that very well, so she asked me
-" What exactly do you want to do with that moment, dear? Put it in a bottle, on your shelf and once in a while put a tea spoon of it into you morning coffee? "
-" This is what you do? Take the moment, make it into a drink? Then people take a sip each time they want to live the moment again?" I questioned.
- "Not exactly dear", she gave me a strange look and told me something I didn't expect
- "People want to forget some moments, they want to avoid feeling the pain of happiness or sadness, this is how most people are, they come to me and put all theire feelings into a jar, I mix them and create a drink, bottle it, and voila, they won't feel anything anymore even though they will recall that moment but with no feelings. Then tell me dear, do you want that? "
-" No, not that, I would like to keep it alive, can you do that? "
-" No dear , I can't, but I have an advice for you , just let it be , let that moment make you smile , make you cry, make you feel the pain and the beauty of it and that's the only way you will keep it close to you as long as you want ."
- "Thanks a lot; I will keep that in mind."
- "Take care dear", she said turning away.

I left the store listening to Pink Floyd, happy to feel everything.

Piticii de pe creier :)

Uitasem de asta , de vorba asta romaneasca "piticii de pe creier " :)), la prima strigare imi aduce aminte de Alba ca Zapada si cei sapte pitici , na dar nu e vorba despre asta cand cineva vorbeste de "piticii de pe creierul tau ".
Incerc sa-i vizualizez , imi imaginez piticii mici a lui Alba ca zapada ( Alba asta e tot in mintea mea :) ) umbland liber pe creierasul meu , tot nu am ajuns nicaieri cu asta , sunt inca departe de "totala" intelegere a acestei vorbe.
Incerc sa-mi adun piticii , incep sa strig "piticii de pe creierul meu adunarea!!!", tot nimic , ma incolteste disperarea pentru o secunda si un gand naspa imi trece prin minte "poate ca nici macar nu stiu de ei , si de aceea nu pot sa-i adun si sa-i numar '', dar de ce vreau sa-i adun ? ah , ca sa le pun cate un nume , sa-i impart in echipe de genul "reallitate" si "vis" , apoi in fiecare echipa sa creez mici detasamente :)) de genul "frigul iernii' care va fi detasament din echipa realitate , sau "vreau imposibilul" detasament din echipa vis :)), mi-as imbraca piticii in tot felul de costume si culori vii :)), deci ce vreau sa fac cu ei mi-e clar :), dar unde sunt ei ??? ascunsi ???

Dupa cateva zile de profunda analiza :) am ajuns la concluzia ca piticii mei sunt defapt parerile mele si pentru ca ele deja au un nume si au o culoare nu mai trebuie sa-mi bat capul cu "organizarea si alinierea" lor.

"piticii de pe creier" sunt framantari tinere care inca nu si-au gasit linistea si se plimba liber pe creierul nostru , iar "piticii" mei au obosit de atat plimbat si au intrat in creierul meu si stau acolo pe post de pareri :)).

Urari de La Multi Ani

Acu cateva zile a fost ziua de nastere a unui prieten si pentru ca mi-am adus aminte ;) i-am trimis urarile mele de La Multi Ani , printre ele este una care imi e draga si care suna asa "iti doresc ca toate dorintele si visele sa ti se implineasca" , am trimis mesajul si dupa cateva ore am realizat ca uitasem ceva , am vrut sa mai trimit un mesaj de genul "hold on a second , aici e continuarea " dar ar fi fost aiurea de tot .

Dorintele noastre pe langa ca sunt foarte diferite sunt in cele mai multe cazuri tangibile , cu mai mult sau mai putin efort le putem implinii , dar visele ? astea sunt ca niste "bile de foc" ascunse in sufletul nostru si despre care nu vorbim , la care ne gandim in momentele de bucurie sau disperare, ne sunt atat de sfinte si scumpe incat fara ele nu am putea supravietui, traim ca si cum incercam sa ni le implinim cu orice pret, oare vrem cu adevarat sa ni le implinim? oare suntem gata sa acceptam implinirea viselor noastre? si daca da, la ce vom visa ? ne vom creea noi vise si vom porni din nou pe drumul implinirii lor ? , interesant cum implinirea unui vis drag poate sa-ti rastoarne echilibrul , poate sa-ti aduca neliniste si framantari , si , deci , urarea trebuia si trebuie facuta asa "iti doresc ca toate visele si dorintele sa ti se implineasca si implinirea lor sa-ti aduca multa fericire si liniste"

Iar vorba romanului "sanatate inainte de toate"